


Flipping through my life, turning pages

by cutebutpsyco



Series: Ironstrange Week [6]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Healing, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), and stephen is a doctor, before being a superhero, christine ships ironstrange, tony is hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 08:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutebutpsyco/pseuds/cutebutpsyco
Summary: ORIGNALLY IRONSTRANGE WEEK | DAY 5Healing (I'm in late but I still want to finish the series)He was looking straight at him, and Stephen couldn’t see anything but softness in his gaze. Though, he knew he was in a hospital bed because of him and felt guilty about that as well.





	Flipping through my life, turning pages

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the beginning of this for the Ironstrange week, then I didn't finish it so I'm trying to complete my series even if I'm in late for the event. I don't even know if the timing of this fic as a sense, just pretend Strange didn't disappeared at the end of IW part 1 and Clint will fight against Thanos too (I love him and I'm terrible sad they cut him off from IW) 
> 
> Nothing belongs to me. Title from "Rise up" by Imagine Dragons.

“Tony, Tony, stay with me!” Stephen’s hands were useless, they were shaking too much either for using his magic or practising CPR, and he felt useless and unable to do anything but yelling his boyfriend’s name. He felt again as he did after immediately after the incident. He was helpless and useless, and the man he loved needed his help, and he couldn't help him. He heard voices all around them, but he couldn’t understand to whom they belonged to or what they were saying. They were fighting against Thanos, again, but this time they were together, all the Avengers and Thor’s strange friends from the space. And they were winning. There was the only important thing, the only thing that mattered.  
And then Thanos hit Tony.

They were fighting together against him, Stephen opening portals through which Tony flew, shooting at the alien and jumping back away from him. Then Stephen wrong timed the next move, and Thanos hit Tony. And it was Stephen’s fault. And if Tony died, it was because of him. And he couldn’t do anything to save him because his hands were shaking too much.

“Strange!” Wanda called, landing a moment later between him and another alien who was on them a moment later. Strange couldn’t even tell where Thanos was any longer, but it didn't matter. “If you can’t fight, you have to leave, now!”

She wasn’t asking him to, she was ordering. Stephen looked at Tony. The helmet of his suit destroyed, his eyes shouted closed and his breathing barely audible. He needed help. If only his hands would have been able to work, Stephen could have helped, but he couldn't. He was useless, broken.

He tried to focus as he could on the hospital where he used to work and hoped that was enough to save Tony. He felt as after the incident all over again, useless, powerless, forced to trust others. And the problem was that he’d never been good in that. Trust wasn’t something Strange gave easily. And he could think about just one person who he could trust with Tony’s life. And she would have probably killed him.   
It didn’t matter, not when Tony’s life was the price. The golden circle was trembling in the air, never unsteady as it was in that moment, though, enough, Stephen dared to hope, for them to walk through. Somehow, he managed to lift Tony from the ground and crossed the portal, falling on the linoleum floor at the other side. 

Stephen recognized the smells and the sounds of previous life that he missed and hated at the same time. For some moments, everything fell silent around them, then people started to scream and run, and Stephen hoped to be in the hospital in which he used to work. He rose his eyes from Tony’s face just what was necessary to be certain about it.   
A nurse he used to know was staring at him, almost in disbelief. He looked at her for a while, then he spoke.

“Call Doctor Christine Palmer!” He ordered and, a moment later the woman appeared along with the nurse, visibly annoyed. She looked at him as if she was looking at a ghost and probably he should look like one, blood rushing on his face, pale and shaking. The last time she saw him, he was dying, and now he was there, holding in his arms a passed-out man, or better, a passed-out Ironman.

“Stephen…?” She asked, not daring to say anything else. Her eyes run on the man who was in ex-boyfriend’s arms. “What’s…? Out in the streets…?”

“I’ll explain you,” Stephen promised. His voice was strangely cold, steady. “Save him, please. I can’t.” 

No needed to explain to her out of all the people why. She nodded, said something to the nurse and a moment later they were bringing Tony in the intensive care unit. Stephen followed, and nobody had nothing to say about it.

“I tried to RPC him, but I couldn’t. My hands…” He said once they were alone. He slightly calmed down and could use magic to help Christine who was working, trying not to notice how her ex-boyfriend’s eyes were on her. His glance was almost judging, but he couldn’t say anything to her, she had always been the best, after him, and everything he could do was trusting her, now.

“It’s fine. I'd like to see you without someone this close to death on my table, though. But he’ll be fine,” She moved fast around Tony’s body, expertly. “What’s happening, Stephen? A week ago, half of the people working in this hospital disappeared, and out of here happened the same.”

“I’ll tell you everything, just not now,” He whispered. He wasn't sure telling her what happened was a good idea, but it wasn’t even like he could ignore Christine while she was helping him. Maybe, speaking with her was better than thinking about how useless he had been on the field. “It’s complicated. But the world needs Ironman.”

He didn't discern that his eyes were on Tony's face, softly. He looked so vulnerable even if now he could hear the beep of the monitor which gave him the confirm Tony was alive. Stephen didn't notice either Christine's eyes were lingering on his face until she spoke again: “I’ll ask this once, do you love him?” 

Stephen stayed silent. Christine knew him well enough, though. And then the hospital floor trembled under their feet. Stephen understood the hospital wasn’t so far from the centre of the battle. And it was filled with people. People he vowed to protect long time ago. He infringed that vow, he made wrong choices in the past because he cared more about fame, money and success, but now he couldn’t turn his back on them again.  
He had to protect the Earth from the threats from other dimensions as Supreme Sorcerer and protect the people from every threat being an Avenger. He heard the noise of bricks falling on themselves and people screaming.   
And, closer, the comforting sound of Tony’s heartbeat on the monitors. He looked at Christine. 

“I got him, go!” She said, almost reading his mind. They always had that kind of relationship, more intellectual than physical and Stephen was grateful for her being able to understand his struggle without even having to ask him. 

Stephen nodded. His hands were still trembling but not as hard as before. Knowing that Tony was in good hands and with someone he trusted was enough to make him feel better. No surprise that Christine, who knew him well enough, noticed fine immediately his feelings for Stark, though.

He rushed in the hospital aisles and a moment later saw the kid flipping in front of him.

“Doc!” Parker called and, fuck, he was young and so enthusiastic, and it wasn’t the best way to act when you were fighting an alien killer who wanted and did wipe out half of the universe. “How’s Mr Stark?”

He didn’t answer, but it wasn’t necessary considering that he had to summon an orange magic shield to protect both him and Peter. A moment later they were turning on themselves, facing a new threat. Fighting with Peter was easy, he already understood that on Titan. The kid may look overenthusiastic, at first, but he was also terribly skilled in doing what he did. And, despite the first impressions, he wasn't reckless at all.

\-- 

Stephen was pacing in the aisle of the hospital, the day after. Every muscle of his body was sore both for the battle and for having spent the night in the most uncomfortable plastic chair in the world. He did want that chairs, back in the days. _So relatives will grow annoyed and will go home and we won’t have to deal with them as well._ He said, gaining a murderous glance from most of his colleagues.   
Now, though, Christine didn’t comment on it and, again, Stephen was grateful to the woman. 

“Tony asked for you,” Thor said, walking out of the room. Stephen had to suppress a laugh. The god of thunder looked hilarious in the hospital context, all muscles even through the fabric of his leather jacket, the Stormbreaker in his right hand as if it was the most normal thing to bring with him, and a happy smile on his face. “I'd told him you stayed there all night long, but I would have look for you. You really should enter. He’s fine.”

The point was: Stephen felt guilty for not being able to help when Tony needed it the most. It was his fault, his and of his broken hands. He looked at them, scarred and ruined, useless. Tony took them in his, just before the battle, kissing every scar, running with his lips on them as if they were the most beautiful thing in the world. And he failed his boyfriend. 

“Does he really…?”

“Want to see you?” Clint asked, ending Stephen’s sentence for him. “He did. Pretty insisting too, truth to be told,” He himself gained some scars from the final battle, a deep cut ran down his left cheek, and his left arm was broken. Nobody got out of it unharmed, but Tony was the one who suffered the most. “And I was thinking to have left children problems' at home with my wife. C’mon, Thor.”

The two Avengers walked down the aisle, leaving Stephen alone with his own thoughts. He leaned with his back against the door of Tony’s room, and a moment later, he heard a voice from the inside: “Do you know one of this wall is made of glass, don’t you?”

Ok, he didn’t remember that. Of course, the moment he stepped close to Tony’s room the man inside could see him. At that point, waiting was pointless, so he pushed the door open and walked into the room. Tony looked as fine as a man who faced a psycho alien and almost died could look. But he was smiling at Stephen which was even more than what the Sorcerer had imagined for their meeting.

“Hey, douchebag.” He tried to joke, though he put little effort in it.

“And that’s how my beloved boyfriend gathers me back in the world of the living ones,” Tony replied. And Stephen wanted to cross the distance between them and kiss Stark for having called him his boyfriend. Though he knew it wasn’t the best thing to do and it wouldn’t have been for a long time. “How are you going?”

“Asked the one who almost died.”

“I spoke with everyone, and I know how your ex-girlfriend saved my life, thanks to you.” He was looking straight at him, and Stephen couldn’t see anything but softness in his gaze. Though, he knew he was in a hospital bed because of him and felt guilty about that as well.

Stephen looked at him, trying to make it not too evident in his eyes. He didn’t feel guilty because of Christine, of course, but because he hadn’t been able to be the one who would have saved him. Though, Tony was breathing and was well despite everything and Stephen loved him so much.   
He smiled. The simple idea of someone looking at him as if he meant the world was overwhelming. He was used to these looks, but just from his patients and that glances were never so sweet, more grateful. He was not used to that coming from someone who loved him despite everything.

“I’ve my skeletons in the closet too,” He said, instead.  
Tony knew, of course, and Stephen knew he did. They both read newspapers before having met in person, and they knew they were womanizers, back in the days. The only difference was that Tony had had experiences with men before of which Strange wasn’t jealous, not even when one of that experiences was Bruce. For Stephen everything was new, and somehow was grateful because Tony never mocked him with all the ‘I’m straight but I’d fuck you here and now’ thing. “I wish I could have done more.”  
Tony shook his head and took Strange’s hand.

“You saved my life, and I don’t care what you did or what you think you didn't, you saved me.”

Stephen seated at Tony’s side, and nobody spoke any longer. They had things to say each other about all the situation. For the moment, though enjoy being in each other's presence was enough.

—

“I love your nurse side, but I can walk,” Tony said, not that he was complaining. He was lying on their bed, looking at his boyfriend appearing and disappearing from portals to check on him or to bring him everything Stephen thought he could need.   
It was a new side of Strange that Tony never suspected about. And he loved it. 

“As if I’m doing this for you…” Stephen said, half mouth, looking at him. He knew Stark had to rest, just a couple of day passed since the last battle against Thanos and despite all his technology, Tony was human, and the only reason why he was out of the hospital was that he threated to buy the building to force the director to sign his resignation. Though, remember that was becoming harder and harder.   
Tony looked at him intensely, and Stephen knew where that glance was supposed to drag him. 

“Tony,” Stephen shuffled, moving toward his boyfriend. “Your leg.”

Though, he leaned closer to the bed, letting his hands to cup Tony’s neck. Stark’s hands went on his fast, tracing the lines of his scars. Stephen would have shuttered, in any other occasion, but Tony’s fingertips were soft and kind and sort of belonged there, on his body, on the places Stephen hated the most about himself. “Dating a Doctor sounded much cooler when you don’t consider the idea of getting ill.”

“You didn’t catch a flue, you almost die!” Stephen replied though he was too close to Tony’s lips to deny him a kiss, and Stark used the vantage of being ill to drag his boyfriend between the sheets again. Stephen tried not to push himself against Tony's leg while undoing his trousers. It was hard, and he had to do everything with just one hand, to keep Tony’s leg out of the way of his movements, but he managed to get rid of them. He was yet half-hard, and swinging a hand below the sheet was enough to realize Tony was too. And even if he paid all the attention he could, now Tony’s leg was no longer a priority.

“Are you fine?” Stephen asked a moment after he came inside Tony. He moved away from him, but he kept their fingers entangled, his steel blue eyes fixed on Tony’s dark ones. They both were damp with sweat and come, though there was nothing in the world that would ruin their morning together. Stephen wished all the ones which would follow were the same.

“I’m not a virgin, Strange,” Tony said, crocking in an ironic smile. “You should know that, by now.”

“If you can be an insufferable prick your leg is fine,” Chose the other man. He knew he had to stand up, get out of the bed and simply do something which wasn’t lingering lazily at his boyfriend’s side but he couldn’t. 

“It is, and I can live with you play the nurse with me, I guess.”


End file.
